How do I know that I have been forgiven by God when the same sin keeps rearing its ugly head and confronts me head-on? "Go ahead," Satan seems to say, "now that you’ve fallen again try and find your way back to God. How many times do you think God will tolerate your continuous trek down that empty path where you know you can not climb out of?"
From “Rejecting God When We Sin” I wrote “O now you think you can sit down and pray while the residue of your sin still remains uppermost in the corners of your conscience and you think God will overlook the incident!” But, that is exactly what happens when in our sinfulness our mindset becomes one of turmoil because Satan wants us to feel so guilty that there is no possible way to find God’s Forgiveness.
It is a classical adherence to feel so low when sin pervades our being and our mind becomes clouded with; “here I go again, slipping after Jesus already forgave me and as a “Groundhog Day” narrative it keeps repeating over and over. What a perfect solution to sin’s forbearance if once forgiven sin never appears again. Then, we would be in a state of perfection, and each day would find us relying upon our now perfect existence and the need for God slips slowly from the grasp of reality with God’s Mercy. Eventually our status appears on an equal plane with God. Isn’t that what happened with the Angels who were driven from Heaven because Satan wanted to be God’s equal? God is Sovereign!
Yes, sin is what we should avoid at all costs. But, remember the Exultet at the Easter Vigil; “ O happy, necessary fault of Adam that brought Jesus Christ to us, to forgive and redeem our souls” Without sin we would still be in a limbo type of existence without any direction to Paradise and God. A paradox for sure, yet in God’s Plan the words “necessary fault” has a profound deep and abiding meaning and we should not reject that.
As I reflect on the many times, like Paul who asked that this thorn be removed, my own thoughts continue to burden me with “whew, it's gone, until it seems to return and the thoughts of “Rejecting God when we Sin” appear once more. The problem becomes too reminiscent of how long will you continue to fall away from keeping God as the center of you life? As it continues, so I continue to pray for Grace. Jesus said; “ “My Grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Cor. 12: 9)
Sit down and pray as if there is no other way to find God and seek not just forgiveness but the solace that He never left and just waits for the sinner to turn and sense the very closeness of His warmth and outstretched arms saying, “Come to me all you who are weary and I will give you rest.” Mt. 11: 28-30.
Since this reflection is a follow-up to “The past is gone; our future is Now!” perhaps I need to remind myself first of the endless forgiveness God has given to me, then I will be able to extend this to everyone else. At least this my hope.