1. People want to know what you’re giving up for Lent more than they want to know how your life is going.
Enough about your cat-- what are you giving up for lent?
2. The day before lent you convince yourself that giving up multiple things is a wonderful way to honor God.
It can't be that hard... right?
3. On Ash Wednesday, you’re both happy to see so many people, but irritated because all the good parking spots are gone.
Where can I park? Parking there is illegal. Could I park at someone's house? No. What about here? Jesus will make sure my car doesn't get towed.
4. You quietly question as to why there are so many people getting ashes, but never see them attending the regular Sunday Mass.
Hi, there strangers! See you at Easter and Christmas Mass!
5.Getting asked, “What's on your forehead,” approximately 1,000 times.
Yes, I recognize that I have ash on my head. I promise I shower. I really do.
6. Every social media page you see is flooded with people taking selfies of their ashes.
Selfies can't be bad if they're for Jesus--right? #ashtag #ashwednesday #onpointforjesus
7. Literally everyone you know is using Lent as an excuse to go on a diet.
Lent is about God, not about how quickly you can lose 10 pounds.
8. You realize that the vow to give up multiple things for Lent was a terrible idea.
I regret everything... What have I done?
9. After collecting yourself, you realize that it’s only 40 days.
I can do this for God. I can do it.
10. You reassure yourself that Lent is not about you, but about sacrificing for Jesus.
Lent has made me realize that I am a very selfish person, and I really don't deserve Jesus or His love.
11. You try to bargain with yourself that having Chik-Fil-A is an excellent way to support Christian establishments, despite the fact you gave up junk food.
Technically, it would be a sin for me not to eat a chicken sandwhich. Can I get an, "Amen?"
12. You start craving things you gave up for no apparent reason.
Why am I craving fries? It's not even lunch time...
13. You start actually appreciating the sacrifices that Jesus went through for you.
Jesus was beaten, nailed to a Cross, bleeding, stabbed, cut, mocked, and tormented in the most cruel fashion, and here I am complaining about giving up certain foods. I am an awful person.
14. Eating a piece of bacon and realizing it’s Friday.
If I spit it out, it will be like I never really ate it in the first place. Score.
15. Convincing yourself that if you do mess up, God will forgive you.
God, I really didn't mean to eat that cupcake.. I promise I will do better.
16. Filet-O-Fish from McDonalds is a staple in your diet.
I'm going to go ahead and assume that everyone I see at McDonalds on Friday is Catholic.
17. You start to not miss the things you gave up for Lent, until your coworker starts passing out doughnuts.
The Lord is testing me.
I hope that you have enjoyed this little satire! Remember that Lent is a time for us to prepare our hearts and bodies for the Easter season. Fasting is a biblical practice which we are required to do. Jesus and his disciples fasted, so we follow the example by fasting for 40 days, and 40 nights. During this season, you will face temptation and persecution, but remain strong in your promise to God. The vow to give up food, a bad habit, etc, is not just an empty promise, but an oath to God himself. That is a huge deal. Honor God cheerfully by keeping your oath to Him. Stay strong, my friends.
"Don't allow sadness to dwell in your soul, for sadness prevents the Holy Spirit from acting freely." -St. Padre Pio
"Whenever you fast, do not put on a gloomy face as the hypocrites do, for theyneglect their appearance so that they will be noticed by men when they are fasting. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full. But you, when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, so that your fasting will not be noticed by men, but by your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you." -Matthew 6:16-18