Priest Discovers He Is Not Catholic
Some of us can still remember the ancient times, way back when people were forced to have face-to-face conversations rather than communicate with text messages on cell phones. Back in those primitive days, one of the most common questions was: What are you giving up for Lent?
The main focus of Lent was giving something up. What are you giving up? The responses were varied: chocolate, cigarettes, movies, chewing gum. When I was eight years old, I replied to that question by telling my parents, “I’m giving up whiskey and dames.” I had no idea what that meant, but I heard it on TV and it sounded grown up, so I gave it a shot. Not surprisingly, my parents were not impressed, and they made the choice for me that year: no TV for Lent, especially shows where they used the phrase, “Whiskey and dames.”
Some years later, when I was a teenager, I answered the “What are you giving up?” question by announcing: “This year for Lent I’m giving up going to Mass each week.” A while later, when I came to, I discovered once again my parents were not impressed, and once again they chose for me: Mass every Sunday, Confession every Saturday, and no TV.
The whole purpose of Lent is to prepare ourselves to celebrate the greatest event in the history of the Universe: the Resurrection of Jesus. Traditionally we make these preparations by remembering Jesus’ 40 days in the wilderness, and engaging in acts of prayer, repentance, penance, and self-denial.
If you think people were reluctant to give up something for Lent back in the ancient times of my youth, it’s much worse nowadays. The black-and-white TV shows my parents feared were corrupting my morals in 1965 are like Norman Rockwell paintings compared to the things kids watch today on cable TV, the Internet, and video games.
Let’s face it, living here in the good ol’ U.S. of A. in the early part of the 21st century means we are inundated with the complete anti-Lent state of mind. Physically, we are one of the most over-indulgent societies the world has ever known. For example, there’s never been a nation in history where one of the most serious problems faced by poor people is obesity. And for those of us in the so-called middle-class, the problems of diabetes and ugly stretch pants are just as bad, if not worse.
Physical over-indulgence is a crisis nowadays, but it pales when compared to our spiritual problems. Lent is a time when we should strive to make our hearts and minds pure, as God desires for us. But who among us can really do that when surrounded by video screens that spew a steady stream of immorality, violence, and distain for all that is holy and good?
If you want to give up something for Lent, chocolate and chewing gum are fine. But how about giving up spiritual filth? How about taking my parents’ advice from more than four decades ago and giving up TV for Lent? OK, I just saw your knees buckle. Yes, I agree that is a frightening thought, especially since Santa brought you that 70-inch big screen TV a couple months ago. But Lent is only six weeks long, and eternity in either Heaven of Hell is, well, a whole lot longer.
So who wants to join me? Let’s give up TV for Lent. When you feel withdrawal symptoms, just listen to EWTN Catholic radio online. And as a bonus, listening to their wholesome programming can also keep you away from whiskey and dames.