Profound Images Gleaned from a Retreat; Theme - "I Have chosen You"

Recently, I along with approximately 40 + men, returned home after a week-end retreat for men at St. Paul of the Cross Retreat House in Pittsburgh’s South Side.  No different than most retreat centers around the country, except the strong feelings that touched me deeply.  After many retreats which are very special (and if you’ve experienced one you’ll understand) this one brought up several incidents in my ministry’s past that surfaced, producing emotions to the surface.  I would like to enumerate some of those from the eyes of a deacon who learned what it’s like reaching out to one of God’s children. 

Late in the 1980’s a pastor of a local Church, St. Anselm’s, called me and asked for an evening of reflection to be conducted during Advent for the parish’s ministers.  While there, I gave a short background of my time in Midland, Texas at a recovery facility ministering to persons recovering from various chemical addictions.  Upon hearing that, he asked me if I had ever heard of POWER.

Pennsylvania Organization for Women in Early Recovery, what the name stands for.  Without writing a whole expose’ on the ministry I will mention the most glowing period that stays with me to this day.  The first Saturday we were to have a non-denominational prayer service (this took the place of a Sunday church service). I sat on the side porch steps waiting for the starting time and a young woman came over, sat down beside me and said; “Hi, my name is Mary and I’m HIV Positive.”  Then not losing a breath she continued with; “I was told there are three things I could never be forgiven for, and since I’ve committed them all why should I care?”  Immediately, I turned, hugged here closely and said; “I love you and who ever told you that was wrong.”  I assured her she was already forgiven.  You may think that it’s kind of bold for me to say that, but God placed me in this ministry, and not even knowing if she had any church affiliation or what her beliefs were, I reached into the thoughts of Jesus Christ and stuck my neck out relating what I felt was the truth.  My position was not to catechize her, have her baptized, or force her to join any denomination.  I met a person who already was scandalized by someone who needed to find the Truth about God, and I was the person to save her soul, through Christ.

Mary worked with me for a couple of months until her time at POWER was completed.  She moved to Ligoneer, PA to stay with friends.  I later heard she passed away, and had full-blown AIDS.  Tears welled up in me, but I felt secure she met God, and in some way my ministry saved her soul.

Early in my deacon ministry I functioned as a part-time chaplain at Mercy Hospital in Pittsburgh.  My mission was to visit Catholic patients one night a week, conduct a communion service, and take Holy Communion to those I met and spoke with.

One night, as my rounds took a little longer than usual, I was approaching the chapel trying not to be too late and was passing the last four-bed ward on the way.  My list showed there was one woman there but I thought it will be ok if I by-pass her.  The Holy Spirit had other ideas and guided me into the room.  When I spoke with her and asked if she wanted to receive the Eucharist  her eyes filled with tears and she told me; “Father, I’m not allowed to receive communion.” When I asked why, her story floored me and now I knew why I was sent to her, this night.

It seems that she already had seven children and nearly died giving birth to number seven.  Her doctor told her that the next pregnancy will almost surely kill her.  He suggested a Tubal-Ligation.  Knowing she was Italian and probably Catholic, the doctor told her to check with her priest.  

She did and her priest told her if she had the procedure done he would not give her Absolution.  Her reply was; “If I die, who will raise my children?”   Nevertheless the woman had the procedure and her priest of course told her she could never receive the Sacraments of the Church.

What made this situation so devastating is she had not been to the Sacraments for thirteen years and one can only wonder what effect that had on her children’s spiritual growth.  She also was to be discharged the next morning.  However, I said; “the priest never should have treated her accordingly and I would send the chaplain up to hear her confession.”  I then mentioned if he didn’t get there before I arrived with the Eucharist she was to receive Christ anyway.  Keep in mind that good Pastoral Care needs to be compassionate with understanding.  Yes, we know the teaching on Birth Control, but this wasn’t to avoid bringing children into the world.  It was a way to keep her healthy and raise her seven children loving God and perhaps some of them would grow and become evangelizers by the example of love learned from her mother. 

A third element of reaching out to someone close who is young and struggling with belief in God and the teaching of the Church in the ways of faith regards one of my grandsons.  He questioned the Creation account, God’s place in our Catholic Tradition, and most of all Life after Death.  A couple of days ago he visited us to do a project for a new position in nursing care and needed one of us as a sound-board by answering various questions pertaining to life-long physical maladies, operations, etc. 

While he was here I mentioned my writings, in case he might be interested in reading some.  His answer was an astounding yes.  He was happy that I offered this to him.  It showed that perhaps the Holy Spirit was opening a path to plant a seed with him.  It convinced me that those who seem to have no interest in God, Creation, and Life after Death are ripe to learn about faith and their place within the Church’s existence. 

Don’t allow this article to be about me and/or my ministry.  We are all called, and many chosen to fulfill God’s Plan to reach out with whatever giftedness He has bestowed upon us.  Also, as you think on some of what you have done for someone else remember that if one small change in your demeanor or place in time had changed, would the results for another person been the same?  Or, perhaps they’re very life might have been disastrous.  Think of the film “It’s a great life” with Jimmy Stewart.   George Bailey and the difference it would have been had he never been born.   Could be us as well. 

Let me reiterate the three little stories and how one can become the purveyor to answer the theme of the retreat; “I Have Chosen You.”

If I had not become a deacon, and begun a ministry in Texas and transferring this to St. Anselm’s, who would have met Mary and assured her that God not only forgives, He is ready to wrap His loving arms around the worst of humanity.  She might have died without ever receiving His Grace and finding her way to Paradise.  I was, she was saved, and another soul found its way to God.

Suppose My sense of timing at the hospital would not have allowed me to follow the Holy Spirit’s prodding and the woman was discharged the next day.  Where would she be spiritually now?  I may never know, but might have been asked to account why, in the final judgement.   

My grandson could have been a passing fancy and I may not have addressed his growth for the church and God.  The story is still out on the seed that was planted.  However, we must always trust in God’s Providence and know He sends us where He needs us, because He Has Chosen Me and You.

Take a moment and place yourself in any one of these scenarios and fix your sights on the glorious outcome that you alone were chosen to change someone’s future, for God.

Ralph B. Hathaway November 2018