A smile or chuckle can hide an immense amount of suffering- for example, Robin Williams or the teenager you met last weekend at Mass.

All of us have been touched by suicide to some degree either in our families or further removed. Suicide is intrinsically tragic and confusing while pushing our mortality buttons, bringing forth haunting memories or deeply hidden fears, and planting a seed of discord in our relationships and communities. Suicide makes people challenge their beliefs (religion, family, politics, wellness, etc.) People get lost in suicide and the “why?” Maybe, we need to ask “What now?”

An immense amount of guilt, loss, confusion, hopelessness, and uncertainty can affect those living with the death of a loved one. They are left with an open wound that might heal but always leaves a scar. Despite everything, God sheds an eternal beam of hope and light upon our darkest situations. God doesn’t promise a life void of suffering, but promises to suffer with us. You and I can provide hope in a very tragic situation.

What does the Catholic Church teach about suicide?

1. It is morally and gravely wrong to take one’s life- it goes against God’s loving plan.
2. “Grave psychological disturbances, anguish, or grave fear of hardship, torture or death can diminish the responsibility of the one committing suicide.” (CCC# 2228)
3. “We should not despair of the eternal salvation of the persons who have taken their own lives. By ways known to Him alone, God can provide for salutary repentance. The Church prays for persons who have taken their own lives.” (CCC# 2228)
4. Mental and emotional illness are diagnosable and treatable health issues that must be handled with great respect and dignity. People with mental illness suffer.
5. Spiritual states, such as St. Ignatius’ “spirit of desolation” or St. John of the Cross’s “dark night of the soul” are not states of mental illness. Depression & Suicide A Catholic Perspective- NC Register
6. St. Padre Pio of Pietrelcina, known for his mystical experience with Christ and awareness of the state of a person’s soul, told a distraught women whose relative committed suicide “Don’t worry. He is saved.”

What can you and I do for the deceased and remaining relatives?

1. Pray! Pray! Pray! Offer prayer intentions and Masses for the deceased and living loved ones. Encourage them to seek pastoral counseling and avail themselves with the sacraments.

• Pray the Chaplet of Divine Mercy & Rosary for the deceased.
• Ask for the intercession of the saints. Here are some suggestions:
  • St. Dymnpha, patron saint of mental illness
  • St. Jude, patron saint of impossible cases
  • St. Raphael, patron saint of the mentally ill
  • St. Anthony, patron saint of lost souls
  • St. Padre Pio, seeker of souls

2. Bury the Dead (Corporal Work of Mercy): If you can, attend the vigil, funeral, or both.
3. Practice Spiritual Works of Mercy: console, comfort, forgive.
4. Be Compassionate and act with sincerity- mourning is an act of love.
5. Offer help (dinner, chores, a shoulder to cry on, a person to pray in silence with, etc.)
6. Don’t gossip. Be discreet.
7. Don’t judge, diagnose, or speculate “why?” God’s opinion trumps all.
8. Never lose hope in the deceased’s salvation- Remember the joy & love present in their lives.
9. Rely/ lean-on/ speak-of/ accept God’s immense mercy and forgiveness for all involved.

My hope and belief is that all people that die from a self-inflicted caus ewill experience whatever was lacking in that final moment: hope, love, healing, clarity, peace, etc. Thankfully, God the Father is the judge and juror in the case of our lives. Please, pray for all the souls in purgatory who are there by suicide. May God bring them into His heavenly kingdom!

P.S. This piece is a reflective post not meant for treatment purposes. If needed, please, seek professional help. You are in my prayers.

*CCC = Catechism of the Catholic Church